Tips to Being Just like Bella Swan

We’ve all had our days where we sit and bask in jealousy of our favorite book/movie character, Bella Swan. I was completely butt hurt as I watched her get her hump on with hot Edward Cullen. She’s so complex that she can get a vampire and a werewolf to fall in love with her. But I have mastered; and found out the secret ingredient to her wit and charm. Now we can all have the spotlight turn on us with the tip of a hat!

1.       Be weird and anti social – Let’s face it, what makes Bella special and differs her from us common folk is that she is extremely (and painfully) anti social. If you’re popular, cut off the jerks and tramps from your life. Befriend normal everyday people who do not spark your interest. Oh – and blow off all the human dudes who like you. Don’t play hard to get – just let them know it’s not happening.

2.       Find inhumane creatures that take the appearance of humans – That being preferably vampires and werewolves. Let’s try to back off the angel and demon drama. You could get yourself killed in that.

3.       Be clumsy – The only interesting part in Bella’s everyday life is when she trips, falls, get’s injured, has near-death-experiences, etc. If you’re in a location where ice is covering the ground, slip and fall! Be free!

4.       Make sure your father is just as anti social and your mother just as annoying – In order to be Bella, your parents have to have your bad characteristics too.

5.       Be perfectly okay with the fact that your vampire/werewolf boyfriend could crush you in an instant – Bella isn’t afraid of dying! Be fearless!

6.       Be friends with your abnormal boyfriend’s family – They will come in handy.

7.       On your honeymoon, remember to bang endlessly!

8.       Be good at chess – So you could beat your boyfriend in it!

9.       Fight for your baby, even if it kills you – Have a weird thing in your stomach that is slowly torturing you? Be a good mother like Bella. Sit there, take the torture, and have the baby you might not live to see.

I hope those nine easy steps help you into becoming just like Bella! Don’t sit in the sidelines and watch as she gets your dream guy any longer!

Hipster Fads That Turned Mainstream

To be honest, hipsters bore and annoy me. Not entirely. But they think being socially awkward and completely ''unique'' is going to help them show they're better than anyone, which, they're wrong. It's not cool to take people like Lady GaGa and Grace Jones under your wing. NOT. COOL.

Hipsters have become mainstream. And if you happen to be a hipster, yes, you're mainstream. If you weren't mainstream people wouldn't try to jack your style or frequently bring you up as a topic. Yes, you're mainstream.

Hipsters don't care about being hipsters anymore. They care about all of their ''coolest new fads'' getting stolen to mainstream media. Oh well, it's happened so many times. And maybe if stupid Tumblr users weren't posting your stupid wannabe retro pictures on every page of theirs, you probably wouldn't be mainstream to this degree. I blame those hookers.

Anyways, I compiled a list of hipster fads that were turned over, used and abused to mainstream media.


- Warning. If you're a hipster, don't read this. You'll be butthurt. -

• Dollar store headbands going across your forehead. - When I first saw chicks walking around with this thing on, the only thing that ran through my head was ''WTF?'' and a whole bunch of ''Are you serious's'' played through my head. Not only are those generic dollar store headbands, but hipsters often use their own hair. Or something weird like straw. I don't know.
• Cliche a$$ retro pictures - I'm sorry, but why the hell is it that whenever I go to check my Tumblr all I see is retro-y dizzying pictures of a girl's shaved legs with booty shorts on and cleavage showing? Is that the new 'classy'? I need to get with the times. STOP IT with the retro pictures. Just stop.
• Nerd glasses - I'm not entirely sure if the hipster's stole it from mainstream or vice versa. But now they both do it. And I'm just going to put my money on hipsters. Aren't hipsters all vintage and crap? Oh - and please stop being broke a**es and punching out 3D glasses. Just go buy some if you're that desperate. And little kids really need to stop trying to do that without knowing it's origin.
• Weird music - Just go to Stephenie Meyer's playlist for Twilight. Stephenie's creepy playlist. Obviously Twihards were going crazy for it. (in my opinion it's weird, sad, sappy music.)

Now we all know the truth behind mainstream - they steal other fads to make them their own. Silly mainstream!

I Hate Those Perfectly Imperfect Characters

Recently I saw Breaking Dawn: Part One. (or should I say last month). Me being a Twihard, I had to go. I have all of the current DVD's all of the books, (honestly, I don't like them. But they were given to me.) and I have went to the movies for ALL four of them.

This one was hard to get into for me. It seemed to drag on. Especially the honeymoon scenes. I was falling asleep.

BUT,

Aside from that, I really wanted to discuss the character Bella and the character Summer from 500 Days of Summer. If you think about it, both of the screenwriters and directors for that movie wanted the same outcome for their characters. And this people, is what I like to call:

My List of The Perfectly Imperfect Chicks Commonly Seen in Movies.

• They have to have an injury/birthmark or something. Because it's just so attractive. (Ex: Bella's hurt all the time; Summer has a 'heart' shaped birthmark. I'm jealous.)
• They have to be brunette. 
• They have to be boring so the directors and stuff can be all like ''WAIT! There's more to her than you guys think.'' 
• Guys with true, deep, meaningful feelings fall in love with them.
• They're uninteresting. They might share your same music tastes; yet they're still uninteresting.
• They ignore any other guys that are into them. They are more attracted to weirdos.

So that's how you shape a ''Perfectly Imperfect'' chick. Doesn't it make you sick? It should. I had discussed with someone earlier and we both agreed that Kristen and Zooey play the same character in each movie. Which gets irritating.